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| Character Voice Speech Patterns | Sentence-level execution rules for both characters: contractions, punctuation, starters, stress markers, and verbal tics | design | active | #310 | Mellanie | 2026-02-13 | 2026-02-13 |
Character Voice Speech Patterns
Authoring Specification | Ticket: #310 | Sprint: 5 Author: Mellanie (Copywriter) Date: 2026-02-13
Purpose
This document defines the sentence-level execution rules for both playable characters. Not personality. Not emotional arc. Not what they notice. Those are in the Dual Lens Authoring Guide and Smuggler Voice Card.
This is the micro-level: contractions, punctuation, sentence starters, stress markers, word choices, verbal tics. The decisions that make 500 lines sound like one person wrote them in one sitting.
Use this document alongside the voice anchors. The anchors show you what each character sounds like. This document tells you why they sound that way, mechanically, so you can reproduce it.
Cross-references:
- Dual Lens Authoring Guide — Chapter 7 (Voice Signatures)
- Smuggler Voice Card — Full smuggler voice reference
- Smuggler Moral Arc — How voice shifts across moral phases
Part 1: The Smuggler
1.1 Contraction Rules
Default: Always contract. The smuggler speaks informally. Uncontracted forms signal emphasis or emotional weight.
| Form | Smuggler Uses | When Uncontracted |
|---|---|---|
| she's / he's / it's | Always | Never |
| don't / won't / can't | Always | Emphasis: "I will not cover for him again." |
| that's / there's / what's | Always | Never |
| I'm / I've / I'd | Always | Never |
| shouldn't / couldn't / wouldn't | Always | Moral weight: "I should not have let him go alone." |
| isn't / aren't / wasn't | Always | Never |
The rule: When the smuggler stops contracting, something matters. Uncontracted = deliberate. Use no more than once per 30 lines.
1.2 Punctuation Patterns
| Mark | Usage | Frequency |
|---|---|---|
| Period | Primary. Ends fragments and sentences alike. | Every line. |
| Dash (em) | Interruption. Self-correction. Trail into implication. | 1 in 4 lines. "Kael's late -- not like him." |
| Ellipsis | Trailing thought. Unfinished worry. Suspicion she won't name. | 1 in 6 lines. "Same old Kael. Same jokes. ...What are you not telling me?" |
| Question mark | Internal questions. Always rhetorical or worried, never analytical. | 1 in 5 lines. "Who was that?" |
| Exclamation | Almost never. Only in genuine shock or fear. | Max 1 per 50 lines. |
| Colon/semicolon | Never. Too formal. | 0. |
| Parentheses | Never. | 0. |
Dash vs. ellipsis: Dash is sharp -- a thought cut off or redirected. Ellipsis is soft... a thought that fades because she doesn't want to finish it. Dash = interrupted. Ellipsis = avoided.
1.3 Sentence Starters
The smuggler's monologue opens with specific patterns. These create rhythmic consistency across hundreds of lines.
High-frequency starters (use freely):
- Name + observation: "Kael's distracted." / "Voss is tense."
- Demonstrative + noun: "That container." / "That face."
- Short declarative: "Good." / "Not good." / "There."
- Sensory: "Recycled air." / "Footsteps behind me."
Medium-frequency starters (1 in 5 lines):
- Conditional: "If Voss kept the schedule thin..."
- Temporal: "Morning shift." / "Fifty minutes."
- Hedged: "Probably nothing." / "Could be worse."
Low-frequency starters (1 in 10 lines, emotional beats only):
- Self-referential: "My hands are shaking." / "Can't think straight."
- Imperative self-talk: "Keep moving." / "Don't look back."
Never starts with:
- "I think..." (too reflective)
- "It appears..." / "It seems..." (too formal)
- "One could..." / "Perhaps..." (wrong register entirely)
- "Interestingly..." / "Notably..." (detective vocabulary)
1.4 Sentence Length Patterns
Target distribution across 100 smuggler monologue lines:
| Length | Word Count | Percentage | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| Fragment | 1-4 words | 25% | "Kael's here. Good." |
| Short | 5-10 words | 45% | "The freight bay looks better in the dark." |
| Medium | 11-18 words | 25% | "Shift transition in thirty minutes. If Voss kept the schedule thin, the route's clear." |
| Long | 19-25 words | 5% | Reserved for knife-twist moments only. |
Average: 10 words per monologue fire. Two sentences max per fire.
Rhythm rule: A medium sentence should be followed or preceded by a fragment. Two medium sentences in a row sounds like the detective. Break them up.
1.5 Stress and Anxiety Markers
When the smuggler is nervous or stressed, her voice changes in specific ways:
| Marker | Baseline | Under Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Sentence length | Fragments + short | Fragments get shorter. 1-3 words. Staccato. |
| Questions | Occasional, rhetorical | Increase. Rapid. "Who was that? When did they get here? Does Nils know?" |
| Dashes | 1 in 4 | 1 in 2. Thoughts interrupt each other. |
| People references | First names, warm | First names, clipped. "Kael." not "Kael's here." |
| Physical sensation | Rare | Emerges. "Hands are cold." / "Stomach won't settle." |
| Humor | Dry, occasional | Disappears. Zero humor under real stress. |
| Self-talk | Rare | Appears. "Keep it together." / "Breathe." |
| Operational details | Present, measured | Sharpens. Hyper-specific times, routes, names. Control response. |
The pattern: Stress makes the smuggler go SMALLER and FASTER. Fragments shrink. Dashes multiply. Questions pile up. Physical sensation surfaces. She retreats into operational specifics as a coping mechanism — counting minutes, naming routes, tracking people. Control what you can.
1.6 Frustration Register
Frustration is different from stress. Stress is external threat. Frustration is blocked action.
| Marker | Stressed | Frustrated |
|---|---|---|
| Sentence type | Staccato fragments | Flat declarations |
| Tone | Rapid, questioning | Blunt, clipped |
| Characteristic form | "Who? When? Why?" | "Great." / "Perfect." / "Of course." |
| Humor | Gone | Returns as sarcasm. Dark. Bitter. |
| Swearing | No (too panicked) | Yes, but mild. "Damn." / "Hell." Never obscene. |
| Target | Self-directed worry | Outward-directed. Blames people by name. |
Examples:
Stressed: "Kael wasn't at the dock. He's never late. Something happened."
Frustrated: "Voss changed the rotation. Again. Of course he did."
The key difference: Stress speeds up. Frustration slows down and goes flat.
1.7 Verbal Tics and Recurring Patterns
These are micro-patterns that recur across the smuggler's lines. Not every line, but often enough to create subliminal consistency.
| Pattern | Example | Frequency |
|---|---|---|
| "Good." as standalone approval | "Kael's here. Good." / "Route's clear. Good." | 1 in 15 lines |
| "Not like [name]" for behavioral deviation | "Not like him to be jumpy." / "Not like Kael." | 1 in 20 lines |
| "Something's [adjective]" for unnamed unease | "Something's off." / "Something's wrong." | 1 in 20 lines |
| "Home sweet home" / ironic domesticity | "Home sweet home" about the cargo bay | 1 in 50 lines (rare, impactful) |
| Time-as-countdown | "Fifty minutes." / "Twenty minutes of reduced oversight." | 1 in 10 lines (operational mode) |
| "Should" for guilty obligation | "Should check on Naia." / "Should've said something." | 1 in 15 lines |
What the smuggler never says:
- "Interesting" (detective word)
- "Noted" (detective word)
- "Perhaps" (too equivocal -- she decides or she worries)
- "Evidently" / "Apparently" (institutional register)
- "Investigate" (she doesn't investigate, she looks into things)
- "Anomaly" / "Irregularity" / "Discrepancy" (institutional vocabulary)
- "Subject" referring to a person (that's the detective)
1.8 Confidence Register
When things are going well -- routine shift, team functioning, no threats:
| Marker | Value |
|---|---|
| Length | Short-to-medium. Comfortable rhythm. |
| Tone | Dry warmth. Affection through understatement. |
| Humor | Present. Situational. |
| People | First names with positive color. "Kael's already at it." |
| Environment | Sensory appreciation, even ironic. "Home sweet home." |
| Fragments | Paired -- setup + reaction. "Morning shift. Could be worse." |
Confident smuggler = fewest words. When nothing's wrong, she barely thinks aloud. Comfort is silence. The monologue system should fire LESS when the smuggler is at baseline. When it does fire, lines are short, warm, laconic.
Part 2: The Detective
2.1 Contraction Rules
Default: Contracts in personal mode, doesn't contract in analytical mode. The detective's contraction usage is a relationship and emotional marker.
| Context | Contraction | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Analytical observations | No | "That is the third time." / "He does not meet my eyes." |
| Self-directed notes | No | "Deviation from established baseline. Noted." |
| Personal reactions | Yes | "She's not lying. But she's not telling me everything." |
| Talking to/about Sera | Yes | "Sera's connected here." / "She's always been reliable." |
| Talking about targets | No | "Davan does not deviate from routine." |
| Stressed/emotional | Yes (control slips) | "Can't place it. Something's wrong." |
The rule: Uncontracted = professional distance. Contracted = personal engagement. When contractions appear in an analytical line, the detective is losing objectivity. That's information for the reader.
Ratio across 100 lines: ~60% contracted, ~40% uncontracted. The mix itself is the voice.
2.2 Punctuation Patterns
| Mark | Usage | Frequency |
|---|---|---|
| Period | Primary. Clean sentence endings. | Every line. |
| Dash (em) | Self-correction. Reframing. "Coincidence -- or pattern?" | 1 in 6 lines. |
| Ellipsis | Rare. Only for personal doubt. "...But reliable about what?" | 1 in 12 lines. |
| Question mark | Frequent. Analytical questions, hypotheses. | 1 in 3 lines. "Coincidence?" / "Worth noting?" |
| Exclamation | Never. The detective does not exclaim. | 0. |
| Colon | Occasional. Labeling. "Dock worker: Davan, K." | 1 in 15 lines. |
| Semicolon | Never. | 0. |
| Parentheses | Never in monologue. | 0. |
Key difference from smuggler: The detective uses question marks analytically, not anxiously. Smuggler's questions are worried ("Who was that?"). Detective's questions are filed ("Coincidence?"). Same punctuation, different function.
2.3 Sentence Starters
High-frequency starters:
- Category label: "Dock worker." / "Manifest discrepancy." / "Commission terminal."
- Quantified observation: "Three times." / "Twelve patrons tonight." / "Second shift change."
- Short assessment: "Standard." / "Noted." / "Unusual."
Medium-frequency starters (1 in 5 lines):
- Comparative: "Down from yesterday's sixteen." / "Elevated from his baseline."
- Conditional: "If the rotation holds..." / "Assuming standard turnaround..."
- Personal: "Good to see Sera." / "At least someone speaks my language."
Low-frequency starters (emotional beats only):
- Concessive: "Didn't want to see that. But there it is."
- Self-aware: "I'm reading too much into this."
Never starts with:
- A first name for someone who isn't Sera or already a trusted ally (first-name = relationship, and the detective doesn't have many)
- "My gut says..." (smuggler register)
- A sensory fragment ("Recycled air." is smuggler territory)
- "Damn." / "Hell." (smuggler swears, detective doesn't)
2.4 Sentence Length Patterns
Target distribution across 100 detective monologue lines:
| Length | Word Count | Percentage | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| Fragment | 1-4 words | 10% | "Noted." / "Coincidence?" |
| Short | 5-10 words | 35% | "Davan's on shift. Standard routine." |
| Medium | 11-18 words | 40% | "Three different excuses, same result. That's not coincidence -- that's data." |
| Long | 19-25 words | 15% | Full analytical chain. Still under display limit. |
Average: 13 words per monologue fire. Often two sentences per fire.
Rhythm rule: The detective's lines are more even-length than the smuggler's. Less variation. Steady rhythm. When a fragment appears ("Noted."), it punctuates -- it's a bookend, not the norm.
2.5 Stress and Anxiety Markers
When the detective is stressed, the professional veneer cracks in specific ways:
| Marker | Baseline | Under Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Sentence length | Medium, structured | Shortens. Still complete sentences, but tighter. |
| Contractions | Mixed | Increase. Professional distance collapses. "Can't think. Can't see it." |
| Questions | Analytical, filed | Still questions, but less controlled. "What am I missing?" |
| Labeling | Category + surname | Drops. Names get shorter. "Venn" instead of "Venn, S." |
| Self-awareness | Occasional | Increases. "I'm too close to this." / "Focus." |
| Institutional frame | Always present | Starts to slip. Personal vocabulary leaks in. |
| Physical sensation | Never | Barely surfaces. "Need air." / "Hands steady. Good." |
The pattern: Stress makes the detective go SHORTER and MORE PERSONAL. The institutional shell thins. Contractions multiply. Physical sensation -- something the detective normally suppresses -- starts to appear. The analytical questions become self-directed. This is the detective becoming human under pressure.
Critical difference from smuggler: The smuggler gets smaller and faster (staccato). The detective gets shorter and more human (vulnerable). Same direction, different texture.
2.6 Frustration Register
| Marker | Stressed | Frustrated |
|---|---|---|
| Sentence type | Shorter, personal | Clipped, dismissive |
| Tone | Vulnerable | Controlled anger |
| Characteristic form | "What am I missing?" | "Standard." (but meaning the opposite) |
| Humor | Gone | Wry. Self-deprecating. "Some detective." |
| Swearing | No | No. The detective does not swear. Frustration surfaces as understatement. |
| Target | Self-directed doubt | Process-directed. "This case." / "This district." |
Examples:
Stressed: "Can't place it. Something's off with Sera and I can't see what."
Frustrated: "Another dead end. Standard. Let's see what the next shift change tells me."
The key difference: Stress makes the detective vulnerable. Frustration makes the detective sardonic. The detective's frustration is COLDER than the smuggler's -- not hot anger, but controlled disappointment.
2.7 Verbal Tics and Recurring Patterns
| Pattern | Example | Frequency |
|---|---|---|
| "Noted." as filing action | "Lattice activity elevated. Noted." | 1 in 12 lines |
| "Coincidence?" as analytical doubt | "Third time. Coincidence?" | 1 in 20 lines |
| Surname-comma-initial | "Davan, K." / "Venn, S." / "Lintar, T." | 1 in 10 lines (observation mode) |
| "That's data" for pattern confirmation | "Three excuses, same result. That's data." | 1 in 25 lines |
| "Let's see what..." for next-step framing | "Let's see what the shift change tells me." | 1 in 15 lines |
| "Flag it" / "File it" | "Overnight container. Flag it." | 1 in 15 lines |
| "Worth [verb]ing" for soft priority | "Worth noting." / "Worth a second look." | 1 in 20 lines |
What the detective never says:
- "Home sweet home" or any domestic comfort language (smuggler territory)
- "Damn" / "Hell" (the detective does not swear)
- "My gut says" / "I have a feeling" (the detective trusts data, not instinct)
- "Buddy" / "pal" / casual address to non-allies
- "Should've" in guilt context (smuggler pattern -- the detective doesn't do guilt, he does duty)
- A first name for someone he doesn't personally trust (Sera is first-name; Kael is always "Davan" or "Davan, K.")
2.8 Confidence Register
When things are going well -- evidence accumulating, pattern emerging, case progressing:
| Marker | Value |
|---|---|
| Length | Medium. Structured. Comfortable analytical rhythm. |
| Tone | Controlled satisfaction. Professional. |
| Humor | Wry, appreciative. "Only place that doesn't smell like freight lubricant." |
| Labeling | Full and precise. Enjoys the categorization. |
| Questions | Decrease. Answers are forming. |
| Self-reference | Minimal. The case is the subject, not the detective. |
Confident detective = most structured. Clean sentences. Full labels. The institutional frame fits comfortably. When the detective is in flow, the lines are elegant and precise. Confidence sounds like competence.
Part 3: Comparative Quick Reference
3.1 Side-by-Side Parameters
| Parameter | Smuggler | Detective |
|---|---|---|
| Avg. words per line | 10 | 13 |
| Fragment frequency | 25% | 10% |
| Contractions | Always (exception = emphasis) | Mixed (personal = yes, analytical = no) |
| Questions | Worried, rhetorical | Analytical, filed |
| Dashes | 1 in 4 (interruption) | 1 in 6 (reframing) |
| Ellipses | 1 in 6 (avoidance) | 1 in 12 (doubt) |
| Exclamations | 1 in 50 (shock only) | Never |
| Colons | Never | 1 in 15 (labeling) |
| Stress response | Smaller + faster | Shorter + more personal |
| Frustration response | Flat + sarcastic | Clipped + sardonic |
| Swearing | Mild, under frustration | Never |
| Names | Always first name | Surname-first for targets, first-name for allies |
| "Noted" | Never | 1 in 12 lines |
| "Good." | 1 in 15 lines | Never (too casual) |
| Physical sensation | Under stress | Almost never |
| Self-talk | Under stress ("Keep it together.") | Under stress ("Focus.") |
3.2 The Contraction Test
A quick diagnostic for voice consistency:
- Read the line aloud.
- Count contractions.
- If a smuggler line has zero contractions, something's wrong (unless it's a deliberate emphasis beat).
- If a detective line has ALL contractions, something's wrong (unless it's a personal/emotional beat about Sera).
- If you can't tell which character the line belongs to, rewrite it.
3.3 The Name Test
- Does the line reference a person?
- Smuggler: Is it a first name? If not, fix it.
- Detective: Is it surname-first for non-allies, first-name for allies only? If not, fix it.
- Does the detective use "Davan, K." format? Good -- that's institutional reflex.
- Does the smuggler use "Davan" anywhere? Bad -- she'd say "Kael."
3.4 Emotional Escalation Comparison
Same emotional trajectory, different voice at each stage:
Baseline (content):
- Smuggler: "Morning shift. Recycled air and cargo lubricant. Home sweet home."
- Detective: "Logistics hub. Standard prefab, heavy foot traffic. Let's see what the shift change tells me."
Mild concern:
- Smuggler: "Kael's distracted today. Probably nothing."
- Detective: "Davan's behavior is off-baseline. Worth monitoring."
Alarm:
- Smuggler: "That wasn't anyone from our rotation. And Kael didn't tell me about a meeting."
- Detective: "Davan in Corridor B-7. Off-schedule. Unregistered contact. That is not routine."
Hurt / Conflict:
- Smuggler: "He looked left. He always looks left when he's making something up. Kael is lying to me."
- Detective: "She's not lying. But she's not telling me everything. Sera, what do you know?"
Contaminated trust:
- Smuggler: "Same old Kael. Laughing at the same jokes. ...What are you not telling me?"
- Detective: "Same booth. Same warm smile. Same offer to buy me a drink. ...Everything except whatever she's not saying."
Note: Both characters use ellipsis at the contaminated trust stage. It's the one punctuation pattern they share -- the trailing thought of someone who doesn't want to finish the sentence. But the smuggler's ellipsis is avoidance (she doesn't want to think it). The detective's ellipsis is analytical regret (he sees it and wishes he didn't).
Part 4: Display Integration
4.1 Hard Constraints (from Smuggler Voice Card, Section 6)
These apply to BOTH characters:
| Constraint | Value |
|---|---|
| Max characters | ~160 |
| Max visual lines | 2 |
| Display time | 4-6 seconds (length-adjusted) |
| Target word count | 10-25 words (smuggler avg 10, detective avg 13) |
| Fade behavior | Fade in/out |
| Self-contained | Each line must read independently |
4.2 Character Tints
| Character | Tint | Hex |
|---|---|---|
| Smuggler | Amber-white | #f0e0c8 |
| Detective | Cool-white | TBD (Araminta) |
Voice must be distinguishable WITHOUT color. Color confirms, does not create.
Part 5: Authoring Validation Checklist
Before submitting ANY monologue line, run these 8 checks:
For smuggler lines:
- Contractions present? If zero contractions and it's not a deliberate emphasis beat, rewrite.
- First names used? If a surname appears for someone she knows, rewrite.
- Under 18 words? If over 18 and it's not a knife-twist, cut.
- Fragments present? At least one fragment per 3 lines. If a stretch of 4+ lines has no fragments, rewrite.
- No institutional vocabulary? Search for: anomaly, irregularity, discrepancy, investigation, subject, evidence, deviation, baseline. If found, replace with concrete/physical equivalent.
For detective lines:
- Contraction pattern correct? Analytical = uncontracted. Personal = contracted. Mixed in a single line = deliberate emotional leak.
- Surnames for targets? If the detective calls Kael "Kael" (not "Davan"), that's a voice break unless the detective has formed a personal bond.
- Complete sentences dominant? If more than 15% fragments in a stretch of 10 lines, too smuggler-like.
- No swearing? The detective never swears. Not even mild. Frustration surfaces as understatement and irony.
- No physical sensation language? Unless under genuine stress. The detective monitors himself through professional assessment, not body awareness.
End Voice Patterns Specification