jpmschweitzerandClaude Opus 4.6
5402435045
- Fix 3 broken D-036/D-128 anchor slugs in decisions/content.md - Fix typo: Stalowsia → Stalownia in stalownia-kowalski.md - Mark proposed-llm-voice.md as superseded (D-138) - Mark smuggler-moral-arc.md and smuggler-voice-card.md as v0.1-only - Snapshot settledreach.db after planning branch merge Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 (1M context) <noreply@anthropic.com>
15 KiB
title, description, type, status, ticket, decision_refs, author, created, updated
| title | description | type | status | ticket | decision_refs | author | created | updated |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Smuggler Voice Card | Single authoring reference for the smuggler's internal monologue voice register and style parameters | design | superseded (v0.1 only — D-122 eliminates named NPCs) | #382 | 2026-02-12 | 2026-02-12 |
Smuggler Voice Card
Authoring Reference | Ticket: #382 | Subsumes: #310 (Character voice speech patterns)
1. Purpose
This document is the single authoring reference for the smuggler's internal monologue voice. Every monologue line written for the smuggler character must pass the parameters, anchors, and anti-patterns defined here. The voice card is used by:
- Content authors writing monologue pools, dialogue reactions, and environmental observations
- Reviewers checking voice consistency across content packs
- The generation pipeline (v0.2+) as the style target for expanded monologue variants
The detective voice card is the structural mirror. Where this card defines fragments, feeling-first, and first names, the detective card defines complete sentences, analysis-first, and surnames. Both cards reference the same triggers and situations so that paired comparison is always visible. For the full dual-lens framework, see Dual Lens Authoring Guide, Chapter 7.
2. Smuggler Voice Register
One-line summary: Watches people, not systems. Thinks in fragments. Worries about friends the way a dock worker worries -- practically, physically, with the knot in the stomach, not the word for it.
Voice Parameters
| Parameter | Value | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Sentence length | Short. Fragments welcome. Rarely more than 2 sentences per monologue fire. | "Kael's here. Good." |
| Vocabulary | Concrete, physical, sensory. Trade jargon (containers, manifests, shifts, routes) without explaining it. No institutional language. | "Recycled air and cargo lubricant." Not: "Standard atmospheric recycling." |
| Emotional register | Feeling-first, analysis second. Names the gut before the brain catches up. | "Starting to worry" before "something's off." |
| Relationship mode | First-name basis with everyone. People defined by connection, not role. | "Kael" not "Davan." "Voss is tense" not "the shift supervisor seems agitated." |
| Observation priority | People > environment > objects. Notices body language before noticing cargo. | "Kael keeps checking his lattice" before "Container 4471 is still in temp." |
| Operational thinking | Present when thinking about the job. Time-aware, route-aware, schedule-aware. Filtered through "is this safe for my people?" | "Transition window opens in fifty minutes. After that, twenty minutes of reduced oversight." |
| Self-reference | Rare. The smuggler thinks about others, not herself. When self-reference occurs, it's through physical sensation. | "My stomach dropped" not "I feel betrayed." |
| Humor | Dry, situational, understated. Dark when stressed. Never witty -- that's a different register. | "Home sweet home" about a cargo bay. |
What the Smuggler Does NOT Do
- Does not analyze systems.
- Does not use institutional vocabulary.
- Does not explain things to herself that she already knows.
- Does not monologue in paragraphs.
Van Maanen's Star Substrate Vocabulary
The smuggler is Van Maanen's Star, born on Station Sova. Her vocabulary carries Van Maanen's Star cultural markers:
- First-name-primary: Van Maanen's Star convention is compact names, first-name basis in all social contexts. Surnames exist for records, not for conversation.
- Trade jargon as native language: containers, manifests, shifts, routes, transition windows, temp storage, freight bay -- these are her mother tongue, not terminology she learned. She does not translate or annotate.
- Mind-your-business ethos: The smuggler does not comment on things that are not her concern. Observations are filtered through relevance to her people and her operation.
- Pragmatic, physical framing: Abstract concepts get physical handles. Trust is "having your back." Danger is "getting caught." Betrayal is "a knife in the back" or "looking left when you answer."
3. Voice Anchors
These 5 lines define the boundaries of the smuggler's voice. Every smuggler monologue line should feel like it could sit next to these without register collision.
Anchor 1: Baseline Warm
"Kael's already at the dock. Good. The day's better when he's on shift."
Short. Personal. Physical presence matters. The smuggler's comfort is measured in who's around, not what's happening.
Authored example:
"Lera's got the usual table open. Feels like the shift's already behind me."
Anchor 2: Operational
"Shift transition in thirty minutes. If Voss kept the schedule thin, the route's clear."
Time-specific. Practical. Other people's actions determine safety. The smuggler thinks in windows, not abstractions.
Authored example:
"Renn's already headed down the corridor. That means the handoff's on schedule."
Anchor 3: Concerned
"Kael keeps checking his lattice. Waiting for a message? Not like him to be jumpy."
Observation leads to interpretation. Interpretation is relational ("not like him"), not clinical. The smuggler reads people through history with them.
Authored example:
"Voss snapped at the new hire again. Third time today. Something's eating him."
Anchor 4: Hurt
"He looked left. He always looks left when he's making something up. Two years I've known that tell. Kael is lying to me."
Personal history weaponized. The "two years" is the knife. Ends with a flat declaration, not a question. When the smuggler is hurt, the fragments stop and the sentence lands whole.
Authored example:
"I covered for him last cycle. Covered for him the one before that. And this is what I get -- a closed door and a stranger's face."
Anchor 5: Atmospheric
"Morning shift. Recycled air and cargo lubricant. Home sweet home."
Three fragments. Sensory detail. Irony through understatement. The smuggler's environment is felt, not cataloged.
Authored example:
"Night cycle hum. Half the overheads are out again. The freight bay looks better in the dark."
4. Anti-Patterns
These are the 4 things the smuggler voice is NOT. Each anti-pattern includes the bad line, why it fails, and a corrected version.
Anti-Pattern 1: Too Clinical
Bad: "I should investigate this anomaly further."
Why it fails: The word "anomaly" belongs to an institutional register. "Investigate" is what a detective does. The smuggler would never frame a problem this way.
Corrected: "That's not right. I need to see what's going on."
Anti-Pattern 2: Institutional Vocabulary
Bad: "The scheduling irregularity suggests systemic manipulation."
Why it fails: "Scheduling irregularity," "systemic," "manipulation" -- every word comes from an analyst's toolkit. The smuggler sees people changing things, not systems being manipulated.
Corrected: "Voss changed the rotation again. Who told him to do that?"
Anti-Pattern 3: Analytical Distance
Bad: "I need to consider the implications of Kael's behavior for our operational security."
Why it fails: This is a detective sentence in a smuggler's mouth. The smuggler does not "consider implications." She reacts, then thinks.
Corrected: "What the hell is Kael doing?"
Anti-Pattern 4: Explaining the Already-Known
Bad: "According to the manifest, container 4471 should weigh 240 kilograms."
Why it fails: The smuggler has been reading manifests for years. She does not cite them to herself. She knows the weight. If it is wrong, she notices the wrongness, not the specification.
Corrected: "4471's heavy. Too heavy."
5. Paired Comparison Examples
Each trigger shows the same observation through both character lenses. The smuggler response is feeling-first, people-first, fragment-based. The detective response is analysis-first, pattern-first, complete sentences. These examples demonstrate the maximum contrast between the two registers.
Trigger 1: Entering a Location
Context: The player enters The Last Shift (bar).
Smuggler:
"The usual crowd, the usual noise. Could use a drink after that shift."
Fragment structure. Sensory. Personal need. The bar is a place the smuggler belongs, measured by comfort.
Detective:
"The Last Shift. Twelve patrons tonight, down from yesterday's sixteen. Someone's missing -- or avoiding."
Complete sentence. Counted. Comparative. The bar is a dataset the detective reads for deviation.
Trigger 2: Noticing an NPC
Context: The player notices Naia Tamm looking distressed at a corner table.
Smuggler:
"Naia's had a rough day. Should find her later, see if she needs anything."
First name. Immediate empathy. Plans an action rooted in care. The smuggler sees a person who matters.
Detective:
"Tamm looks distressed. Baseline for her is composed. Something at home, or something she's learned?"
Surname. Clinical assessment against baseline. Hypothesizes cause categories. The detective sees a data point that deviates.
Trigger 3: Reacting to a Tell
Context: The player observes Kael checking his lattice repeatedly during a conversation.
Smuggler:
"Third time in five minutes. Kael, who are you waiting to hear from?"
Direct address (even internally). Counts through instinct, not habit. The question is about a person, not a pattern.
Detective:
"Lattice activity: three checks in five minutes. Elevated from his established baseline of once per conversation. Noted."
Quantified deviation from documented norm. Self-directed filing action. The observation is about a metric, not a friend.
Trigger 4: Processing New Information
Context: The player learns that a container sat in temp storage overnight -- unusual for a hub with sub-eight-hour turnaround.
Smuggler:
"That one's been sitting since yesterday. Someone stalled it, or someone forgot. Either way, it's a problem."
Two practical explanations offered without judgment. "It's a problem" is operational, not analytical. The smuggler thinks in consequences for the team.
Detective:
"Container held overnight. Turnaround standard for this hub is sub-eight hours. Deviation logged. Cross-reference with shift records."
Quantified standard. Logged deviation. Self-directed investigative action. The detective thinks in evidence chains.
6. Display Constraints
All monologue lines must conform to these hard constraints (per Stig's Round 1 display proposal, adopted as authoring standard).
| Constraint | Value | Implication for Writing |
|---|---|---|
| Max length | ~160 characters | Hard ceiling. Most lines should be 80-120 characters. |
| Max visual lines | 2 | No three-line monologue. If it wraps to 3, cut it. |
| Display time | 4-6 seconds (length-adjusted) | Player reads at ~250 WPM = ~20-25 words in 5 seconds. Target: 15-25 words per line. |
| Fade behavior | Fade in/out | No abrupt text pops. Lines must read cleanly mid-fade. |
| Character tint | Smuggler: amber-white #f0e0c8 |
Voice must be distinguishable WITHOUT color -- color confirms, does not create. |
| No mid-sentence triggers | Lines must be self-contained | A monologue line must make sense even if the previous one was not displayed (cooldown, priority override). |
The 25-Word Rule
If a monologue line exceeds 25 words, it must be the most important line in the pool. Most lines should be 10-18 words. The authoring guide examples average 14 words. That is the target.
Fragment-Friendly Formatting
The smuggler's fragment style naturally fits the 2-line display constraint. Fragments are short. Dashes and ellipses compress meaning. A smuggler line that feels too long is almost always trying to do too much -- split it into two triggers or cut the weakest clause.
Good (14 words, 1 visual line):
"Kael's already at the dock. Good. The day's better when he's on shift."
Too long (29 words, wraps to 3 lines):
"Kael's already at the dock and it looks like Voss kept the schedule thin, which means the transition window should be clear for the route."
Fix: Split into two separate monologue fires:
"Kael's at the dock. Good." "Voss kept the schedule thin. Route should be clear."
7. Authoring Checklist
Before finalizing any smuggler monologue line, ask these 5 questions:
1. Does it sound like a person, not a system?
The smuggler thinks in people. If the line references a process, institution, or abstract concept without grounding it in a specific person's action, rewrite it.
- Fail: "The operation is at risk."
- Pass: "Voss is going to get us caught."
2. Is the feeling before the analysis?
The smuggler's gut fires first. If the line opens with a conclusion or a logical structure ("therefore," "which means," "this suggests"), rewrite it so the emotional reaction leads.
- Fail: "Kael's behavior suggests he's hiding something."
- Pass: "Something's wrong with Kael. I can feel it."
3. Would she say this to herself?
The smuggler does not explain things she already knows. If the line contains exposition about the world, the ring, or the station that the smuggler has known for years, cut it. Interior monologue is reaction, not recitation.
- Fail: "The ring operates during shift transitions when oversight is reduced."
- Pass: "Transition window's coming up. Time to move."
4. Is it under 25 words?
Count them. If it is over 25, it had better be the knife-twist line of the phase. Otherwise, cut. The smuggler does not ramble. Fragments. Dashes. Ellipses. Economy.
5. Does it use first names?
The smuggler calls everyone by their first name. If a surname appears without the first name, or if a role descriptor ("the shift supervisor," "the bartender") is used for someone the smuggler knows personally, rewrite it. The exception: institutions ("the Commission," "the Concord") are named abstractly because the smuggler does not think of institutions as people.
- Fail: "Davan seems nervous."
- Pass: "Kael seems nervous."
Cross-References:
- Dual Lens Authoring Guide -- Chapter 7 (Voice Signatures), Chapter 4 (Divergence Escalation Curve)
- Smuggler Moral Arc -- How voice register shifts across moral phases
- Kael Davan -- Primary NPC voice interaction target (THE FRIEND)
- Entity Attributes -- Role-perspective keys that gate monologue
End Smuggler Voice Card