From 10b1a4252e149bdb55f4679cefd744b6bfe880c7 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Jeroen Schweitzer Date: Sat, 7 Mar 2026 09:58:24 +0100 Subject: [PATCH] fix(copy): address PR #88 re-review comments MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Name pool fixes: - Remove "Korr" from given_names (duplicate with family_names), replace with "Tork" - Replace "Narek" with "Sorek" (real-world Armenian name, IP concern) - Replace soft "-ael" endings (Vael→Vrek, Rael→Rask) to match naming rules - Update comment: "no soft endings" → "hard endings preferred" - Add 2 family names (Tollek, Dass) to balance pool ratio (now 40/18) Voice fixes: - Replace "same drill" (not an exclamation) with "cold vacuum" - Rewrite 3 trader behaviors as observable stage directions - Add 2 foreman off-duty behaviors (person beneath the role) - Add break room behaviors to dock_worker, technician, foreman Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 --- content/global/culture-krenn.ron | 14 +++++++------- content/global/industrial-zone-spec.ron | 4 ++++ content/global/rural-zone-spec.ron | 6 +++--- 3 files changed, 14 insertions(+), 10 deletions(-) diff --git a/content/global/culture-krenn.ron b/content/global/culture-krenn.ron index 0dfe8b188..b6ba87c42 100644 --- a/content/global/culture-krenn.ron +++ b/content/global/culture-krenn.ron @@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ style: "compact, consonant-heavy, first-name-primary in social contexts", // Pool the generator draws from. More names = more variety across runs. // Source: D-036 canonical examples + extended set following same phoneme rules. - // Rule: compact (1-2 syllables), consonant clusters welcome, no soft endings. + // Rule: compact (1-2 syllables), consonant clusters welcome, hard endings preferred. given_names: [ // D-036 canonical set "Kael", "Voss", "Lera", "Torek", "Drin", @@ -30,10 +30,10 @@ "Tev", "Ren", "Sess", "Renn", "Olin", "Tav", "Resha", "Harek", "Sabel", "Pell", // Extended — same phoneme pattern - "Dav", "Korr", "Ness", "Pren", "Vel", - "Orin", "Mael", "Torra", "Narek", "Sev", - "Bren", "Linn", "Vael", "Darek", "Pess", - "Nell", "Kren", "Sorel", "Tavek", "Rael", + "Dav", "Tork", "Ness", "Pren", "Vel", + "Orin", "Mael", "Torra", "Sorek", "Sev", + "Bren", "Linn", "Vrek", "Darek", "Pess", + "Nell", "Kren", "Sorel", "Tavek", "Rask", ], family_names: [ // D-036 canonical + extended @@ -41,7 +41,7 @@ "Lintar", "Darvo", "Kosse", // Extended "Pellan", "Sorren", "Tessik", "Morek", "Brav", - "Ossel", "Rennick", "Harven", + "Ossel", "Rennick", "Harven", "Tollek", "Dass", ], // Krenn culture is first-name-primary. // Family names exist but belong to institutional contexts: contracts, registrations, arrest records. @@ -84,7 +84,7 @@ "blood and void", "void's sake", "damn all", - "same drill", + "cold vacuum", ], ), diff --git a/content/global/industrial-zone-spec.ron b/content/global/industrial-zone-spec.ron index 6c5ba5e11..16a682d6a 100644 --- a/content/global/industrial-zone-spec.ron +++ b/content/global/industrial-zone-spec.ron @@ -39,6 +39,7 @@ "hooks a cargo sling and steps clear before signaling the lift", "stacks empty pallets against a wall with mechanical efficiency", "wipes sweat from her face with a forearm and keeps moving", + "slumps into a break room chair and stares at nothing for a full minute before reaching for a drink", ], ), ( @@ -56,6 +57,7 @@ "presses an ear to a vibrating duct and listens", "argues quietly with a display that isn't giving the right numbers", "queries a fault log through her insert without touching the terminal, eyes briefly unfocused", + "stretches both arms overhead in the break room doorway, blocking it without noticing", ], ), ( @@ -72,6 +74,8 @@ "stands at the mezzanine rail watching throughput without expression", "reviews shift handover notes and circles something with a stylus", "speaks to a dock crew in a low voice — they listen without nodding", + "sits alone in the break room rubbing the back of her neck, datapad face-down on the table", + "laughs at something a technician says, then catches herself and goes quiet", ], ), ( diff --git a/content/global/rural-zone-spec.ron b/content/global/rural-zone-spec.ron index 009d84d3f..d9c9c0471 100644 --- a/content/global/rural-zone-spec.ron +++ b/content/global/rural-zone-spec.ron @@ -67,9 +67,9 @@ typical_behaviors: [ "squares goods on a fold-out portable display with deliberate care", "leans back on a stool and watches the foot traffic", - "counts credit chits with one thumb while talking to a customer", - "haggles with quiet patience — lets silence do the work", - "notes which locals are buying what, and remembers", + "flicks credit chits across the counter with one thumb, barely glancing down", + "holds eye contact through a long pause, waiting for the price to land", + "watches a regular browse the same shelf as last time and says nothing", "packs unsold goods with no visible frustration", ], ),